


Will This Work Out?

by peejthehuman



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 22:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12757620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peejthehuman/pseuds/peejthehuman





	Will This Work Out?

Buzz. Buzz. Cry. Buzz. Oh God. Aza woke up to my alarm. Again. I roll out of bed, slamming my alarm off. I steal a quick glace at the mirror and almost audibly groan at the sight of me. Grey, sad eyes, hair all over my face, last night’s t-shirt on instead of pyjamas- the usual look. I race from the sofa bed to the make shift nursery, slowly opening the door to the room picking her up. She’s so fragile, so…perfect. She has my button nose and swift hair, but she has _his_ eyes, but a dash of my baby blue eyes. Her cries fill the room, and I hear a voice at the door: “Did you make your alarm extra loud this morning?” Great. Connor just had to make things worse. I death glare him as he walks out of my old room, and I quickly quieten Aza down. I change her just before strolling to the small kitchen, gently holding her in one hand and grabbing one of the clean bottles and filling it up. “Good morning, wise guy,” Connor laughs, clenching two cups of coffee, handing me one. I place Aza in her high chair and yawn loudly. I drink the coffee as if it’s the last thing I’ll ever drink. Connor has already left to go get changed, telling me that he’s going to Hansen’s- probably to make out before class. I clean the bottle Aza drank out of and my coffee cup. I place Aza in her cot as I retreat to the bathroom with my binder, a clean shirt and shorts. I change quickly, brushing my hair and cleaning my glasses and failing. I grab Aza’s diaper bag- school’s day-care is too expensive- my own bag and binder full of coursework. I place Aza in her carrier, and zip out of the door. I jog to my lecture hall, almost bumping into someone. “Jared! Be careful, you’ve got Aza with you!” I nod and smile at Zoe. “Sorry, running-“ “Late I know. Did you have breakfast this morning?” I sigh. She always, always, asks me this. “I had a cup of coffee this morni-“ “Coffee doesn’t count, Jare. Come with me, you’re getting breakfast with me.”

“Mr Kleinmen, care to explain your lateness to the class?” Shit. I’m late. “Um…I-I-I got caught up changing Aza, sir. I’m sorry.” I take my seat and open my binder, and starting to listen. And soon I can’t listen, can’t focus, I’m just so tir-

“Dude, dude, dude!?” I wake up with my head on the table, and someone’s warm hands are shaking me , and I look up. It’s Evan. Prefect Evan. He forces me to sit up, and I notice Alana, gently and oh so carefully rocking Aza back and forward. Zoe was asking my professor for some grace, and Connor was just standing there, looking beautiful. “God, Jared are you okay? Professor Marc came to my bio experiment to wake you up.” I nod and sigh. God, I’m an idiot. I slept in class, and this isn’t even the first time- this has happened way, way too many times. “Evan, I’m fine. I was just up all night making sure that Aza was asleep and I was doing some work. Just…don’t worry about me.” He raises an eyebrow, with Connor walking up to him and gently wrapping his long ass arm around Evan’s waist. I feel a pang of jealousy within me.  They’re so…beautiful and brilliant and…and perfect. I roll my eyes as Alana hands me my dorm key. “Go and sleep. Zoe got you outta class for the day, so you can get some rest and focus on yourself and Aza. I’ll go to Target and grab some stuff too.” Then all three of them shove me out of class, Aza and belongings in hand, and take me to my dorm.

“Hey, uh, Jared? I just wanted to make sure that you’ve been okay,” is the first voicemail on my weird, off-brand cellphone. _It’s Evan._ I know he means well, but, why does he care about me? I’m just Jared, and my only jobs are to graduate this stupid course and raise Aza. All alone. “Anyway, um….I was wondering if you wanted to join C-connor, Zoe, myself and Alana for a picnic at the orchard? I-if you’re not busy, of course?” And then the anxious, sweet voice of that boy disappears. I sit up and text him.

InsanelyJK- hey dude idk if I’ll be able to go today to that picnic with you and the gang. Won’t be able to find a sitter for aza. Sorry.  :/

TreeHansen- OH JARED ITS OKAY WE CAN ALWAYS REPLAN IT DON’T WORRY

InsanelyJK- no no no. don’t worry. Just go. I’ve got work to do, and aza needs me.

AlanaaBuzz- jared come on. Heidi can take him. You need time for urself. Xoxo

InsanelyJK- ugh fine. For you guys, not me.

MurphysLaw- thank god. Come on, we’re leaving in five. Get ready or ill fold the sofa bed with u in it lol

ZoeeeJazz- CONNOR NO. PLEASE NO.

I stand up from the bed and open the main door into the dorm, a happy and glistening Heidi, her hands steady and full of baby supplies. “Good morning Jared! Did you sleep well?” “By well you mean Aza had a blowout last night and I had to make sure Connor didn’t wake up.” She frowns and throws me a breakfast bar. “Don’t worry about today, okay? Today is a ‘You Day’. Call me if you need to talk about anything, and I mean _anything_.” She looks at me before letting me say goodbye to Aza, who’s sitting happily in her chair, eating whatever mushed up stuff society brands as “baby food” Heidi is feeding her. She hands me my phone, set of keys and some snacks, and sets me off on my way, like I’m her kid on their first day of school. I journey to the orchard, seeing a tall, lanky arm wave me over. I go over to it, and see Connor and Evan kiss, and Alana and Zoe are talking about music and classes. I sit awkwardly on the plaid blanket and stare at the apple blossoms. I start to think. Think about what I’m gonna do after college, especially with Aza. Will I get a decent job at some big-name game developer and have a great house and a boyfriend and a family? Or, just live in some shitty apartment, rolling in debt? “Jared? Jared? You okay?” interrupts my thoughts. A tissue is thrown in my face- I didn’t even notice the tears streaming down my face and my throat fulling, fulling with spit and snot and tears. “Jared talk to me, okay?”, someone- no, _two people_ \- hold my hands, telling me to “Breathe in and out, okay? Tell me what’s going on.” _It’s Connor talking._ His warm, slightly chipped hand intertwined with my left, and Evan’s soft, small hands cling onto my right hand. God god god I do not deserve this group of friends do I? They’re going to be more successful than me and I’m going to be a failure, a failure.

A fucking failure.

A bottle of water is handed to me followed by a swarm of hugs and “Talk to me Jared what’s wrong please.” I sit up- why was I lying down?- and chug the water, finishing the bottle and tossing it into the trash bag one of them bought. “I’m a failure. The only guy I liked left me cause he knocked me up, I can’t study at all, I’m failing my classes, I can’t even afford to get Aza new clothes or food, and I hate waking Connor up with my alarm and Aza’s crying.” I stutter almost every single word, and they all look at me. “Jared, you’re not a failure. I promise. You just need some help, from all of us. T-that’s wh-why my mom wanted to take Aza. S-so you could have some time for you.” Evan looks at me. I look back. God, I really wish I could kiss him, but he’s with Murphy. And they’re happy and in love. “Look, Kleinmen, you’re a great friend, a fucking awesome and hardworking father and I checked your grades-“

“How did you do that, Connor?”

“I know how to hack the school’s computers, Zoe. Anyway, you’re not failing at all. You need more time for you. And I mean it. And that asshole- whatever his name was- didn’t deserve you. And I don’t care if your damn alarm or Aza wakes me up. And I’m throwing that shit sofa bed out. You need an actual bed.”

Wow. They care about me. I smile, hug all of them, and thank them. I feel like now I can get back to work, but I grab my phone and text Heidi.

InsanelyJK- Hey I need some advice

MsHansen- what’s up?

InsanelyJK- firstly how’s aza?

MsHansen- she’s okay. She’s taking a nap. Now go and tell me what’s wrong

InsanelyJK- I think I like evan and connor

InsanelyJK- but they’re together and what if they don’t like me

MsHansen- aw honey. Try and talk to them and see if they like you back

InsanelyJK- wait they like like me

MsHansen- maybe…:)

InsanelyJK- wait YOU KNOW THAT THEY LIKE ME WHAT THE HELL HEIDI

MsHansen- okay go and talk to them now, hon. Good luck!

Great. “Uh, Connor? Evan? Could I talk to you two?” Shit. I just said that without realising that I said that? God, Jared get it together. And before I even I know it, I’m behind a tree with some lanky art major and a short biology student, stuttering out “I-I um I-I really like the both of you but then I told Evan’s mom this and she started to- to like hint that you two might like me?”   
The two exchange a look, and I’m staring at some marron leaves on the green grass before they grab my hands. “Jared. Jared please breathe in and listen to me, okay? Evan’s mom is right. We do like you. But right now, you’re in a hard place. We can take it slow and steady, okay?” Connor hugs me gently and Evan joins in, wrapping a hoodie- coated arm around Connor’s warm body and my cold, dry skin. 

 

This could work, right?

 

 

Yeah, I hope it does work out.


End file.
